Hey guys! So, God gave me the idea for this short story while here at training in Indiana and I just wanted to share it with you in hopes that it brings encouragement, and remembrance of what God has done for us all :)! So, here it is:
Feeling completely drained of all energy; my body is limp and lifeless in the stone cold grip of their calloused hands. Head hung low and breath coming in broken gasps from screaming, and fighting, I realize I never stood a chance. And why should I fight? Did I not merit this? Is this sentence not just?
Large, warm tears pool in my eyes and stream down my face as those around me shout for my head… I deserve the death they demand. I’ve sinned more times than I can count and my very being is stained red with it. As I’m carried through the crowd that now lines the path to my death as though they were welcoming me home, they bark insults at me with wicked satisfaction and pleasure. Spitting on me and hurling rocks, I feel the impact of each and every one. I cry out in agony and they cheer all the more, thirsty for my blood.
We reach the point of our destination and their anticipation is tangible in the air. Looking up, I see a large wooden cross laid on the ground before me and my eyes go wide with fear. Dragging my beaten body, they throw it onto the cross as someone throws away trash. Catching myself with the balls of my hands, my tears begin to come in a torrent and my body shakes with them. Feeling them run down every facet of my face… I watch as they fall in slow motion, red from the blood on my face, and soak into the wooden planks beneath me.
A sharp kick finds itself hard and sure in my ribs, and I cry out in pain, flopping over onto my back landing in the dirt. I lay there only long enough to wish that I were already dead, and then my arm is yanked nearly out of its socket as I am pulled back onto the cross, splinters stabbing like sharp needles into my skin. I watch tearfully as they tie my wrists and ankles tight to my grave, restraining me.
The crowd circles around now, all pushing and shoving to the front to get a good view. They roar viciously as they wait for my body to be broken and my blood to be shed. There’s no hope for me, no sense in struggling. I know that I belong here, that my pain is warranted. But, I DON’T WANT TO DIE! I have barely lived!
I hear the clank of the nails being brought out one by one and I see the hammer in the hands of my executioner… He wears pitch black and the most triumphant grin is displayed victoriously on his face.
Helplessly I watch as the sharp end of the nail is placed on the soft inside of my wrist. Though the smile is still on his face, I can almost hear the sadistic laugh of my killer as he raises the hammer high above his head and takes aim. I close my eyes hard, unable to watch any longer.
“STOP!” A strong melodious voice demands.
I open my eyes wide, full of shock, for that was not the “Clank” of the hammer encountering the head to spear the nail through my wrist that I was expecting. And even more shocking, my destroyer obeyed! I look at him to see his anger rolling off of his body in waves, but there is something else there in his face that is more prominent than anything else… fear!
The faces in the mob go livid as they turn to the right and to the left, trying to weed out who it is that’s had the audacity to stop this crucifixion. Studying my audience because I do not see my heroine either, I see their eyes go wide, faces a mixture of fear, shock, and awe. I swivel my head, but I cannot see what they see.
Who’s yelled stop? What is going on? The questions ring loud in my head.
A part of me is thankful for this blessed person who has extended my life if only for a few more moments, but another part of me just wants it to come swiftly, for who could possibly save me from the punishment of all my transgressions?
I watch as a bright light seems to be getting closer and closer, until finally I am squinting from its shine. A man clothed in the whitest of whites, with the look of pure love and adoration on His face stands before me. It hurts to look at Him, as if it will kill me, and I am frozen in awe along with everyone else. I want to shout His name, but no words come to my mouth.
So, there I lie in my sin and filth, upon this justified cross, and thinking that I am now full from seeing this man… that I have not lived until this very moment of my life.
Again His voice speaks out and I get goose bumps at its sounds, but even more from what He says.
“Take me instead.”
I want to shout “NO!!!” at the top of my lungs! This cannot happen, this cannot be! This Holy and perfect being cannot take the punishment I deserve! But my voice has left me, I still cannot speak! I wiggle and writhe in protest, but it is all to no gain.
Suddenly, a warm, strong hand presses down over my heart. The touch of it feels like it will burn right through me, but it is not an un-pleasant feeling. It’s as though I am being filled with love and light and everything good, and I am being drained of darkness.
“Child,” He says, and I am utterly still.
I stare into the eyes of my Father and I cannot fathom the love there. A small smile spreads on his face and I watch as the red of my sin leaches off of myself, up his hand and arm, and onto his robe, leaving me completely healed and white as snow. Starring at Him, He is covered in my filth and I can’t bear to look anymore!
The evil one watches with malicious joy, eager for this new outcome. His knuckles tighten around the handle of the hammer and his smirk grows wide.
“Abba, “ I barely manage to whisper, “NO!”
“Child,” He says again lovingly, “Be still.”
Untying my hands and legs, He puts His arms underneath me and lifts me from the cross. He squeezes me tightly in an embrace and then sets me down lightly to the side. Smiling at me one last time, He kisses me on the forehead and turns back to the cross.
I watch in horror as He lies down on the cross, my cross, and is tied down in the very same place that I just was.
Why is this happening? How can this be? I think to myself.
“Because I love you!” I hear Him whisper, answering my un-spoken question.
The gathering of people stands around with uncertainty at this new course and they are torn in many different directions. Some continue to cheer all the more for this new ending, some leave the place altogether, and some fall as I now am… face down in the dirt, arms out in front of me in praise.
The hammer whooshes in the air and comes down with power to meet the nail. I burst into tears again as the Creator of the universe is dying for me.
Me… a nothing. Me… a no one. Me… a sinner.
With each hit of the hammer nailing Him to the cross, my wrists burn with pain as my sin is nailed to the cross as well.
“Abba… YAHWEH… Prince of Peace… LORD of LORDS…” I ramble on and on, His names coming to me in a rush. I don’t know what else to do because I can’t stop this… because I shouldn’t stop this… and because He doesn’t want me to.
“But why God? Why would you do this for us? Why would you die for us? Why would you forgive us?” I question again.
A still, quiet voice in my head reminds me of the very words that He just spoke to me moments ago… “Because I love you!”
After several excruciating minutes that feel like hours, the nails are in and I pick my head up to stare with tear filled eyes at the cross being lifted from the ground, and slid upright into place proclaiming victory and forgiveness for all to see, and for all to know.
I kneel there staring at Jesus… at love… at the Son of God… I kneel there staring at my Savior.
